.not myself bc of the weather

It has been raining since Tuesday afternoon and I'm totally unimpressed. Sure, it's good for sleep-in's and all but I'm sure most of us can't afford to sleep-in and be late for lectures/tutorials and work.

I love it when it rains Friday or Saturday night and that's about it – I don't like raining marathons, and I hate it most when it happens on Monday morning.

C'mon sunlight, don't be shy, come back to us, we miss you! >.<

Well, today's weather is significantly better I guess, albeit the on and off sunlight.. At least there was some sunlight!

.possessed?

:(

I think I'm possessed....... By the procrastination monster..

And I guess this is common among students.. But I really can't afford to put off my work till tomorrow, day after tomorrow, ...

I'm already weeks behind schedule.. And I have to meet up with my supervisor tomorrow – totally stressed out about this because I am not sure if I have done enough over the Easter break.

Argh.. What am I gonna do... I used to be able to concentrate a lot better... Is it the caffeine? Maybe it's the caffeine. Or maybe it's my desk/chair – not ergonomic enough. Can't really switch to better ones since I have limited budget this year.

Perhaps I should spend this whole weekend at uni. Yup, I'll do that.

.because it's time to update?

yeah.. because it has been a while since i did some proper, positive update about myself. what happened to the days when i'd blog almost everyday, sometimes 2-3 times a day!?

maybe i'm getting old... or i'm just plain lazy. i choose the latter.

hmm.. let's see... what do you want to know? i guess you'll probably want to know that i'm almost halfway through my final semester of graduate school. yes, iamfinishingupmymaster'sdegreeandi'mfreakingout!!!!! this semester, i'm only enrolled in 1 unit and it's all about writing your own project brief and being self-disciplined enough to finish them by end of June. yep, it's actually quite fun to be able to finally do something you wanna do, rather than having to do something according to assignment briefs written by lecturers/tutors.

and what am i doing this semester? umm i'm kinda lazy to explain, so here are the key words: children's storybook, digital story telling, Japanese culture, One-Inch Samurai (一寸法師).

other than that, i do go out for a walk sometime, invite friends over, running errands, house chores, and umm.. well.. okay, that's about it – the rest of the time is spent working on the project.

what else is new? i got a new macbook pro after 3.6 years and am hoping that this one will last a little longer than the last one, and managed to poison SF with photography. YES, he is hooked to HDR right now and got me to pick up a 2nd hand Canon 40D for him recently. too bad he can't have the camera yet, unless he decides to visit me soon.

and what else is still the same? SF and i are still LDR-ing. yep, just like last year, except that i'm used to living alone now.. sure, i still do get depressed at times but i'm able to deal with loneliness better than 12 months ago. my dad suggested that we don't remain on LDR for too long..so.. well, let's hope that everything will go back to normal soon. (:

yep, and that's all. back to work!

.because crying scares people away

Maybe it's just today, or maybe it has been a while.

But I feel so isolated from the people who are thousands of miles away from me right now..

Sudden, I feel like this selfish person who don't want to help them, despite our close relationships..

And suddenly, I feel like I'm some sort of stranger to them, that they'd rather get help from people who are not close to them than me.

I don't know why so many people could actually choose not to believe me, especially when I'm close with them...

Or maybe this is just a one-sided feeling, that they don't feel like they're close to me while I feel comfortable with them.

It really hurts.. Even if it's just over some small favor...

And now I'm very confused, is it my fault, or is it their fault?

Why am I made to feel like the bad person now?

And worse, why am I the last person you'd wanna approach for help, when I'm supposedly the closest person to you? It really hurts... I never knew it would hurt this much.. really..

And because crying scares people away, I have to go through the pain of preventing my tears from falling in front of people... Is it really wrong to be someone who has got a little too much emotions on hand?

Can someone tell me? Is it wrong to be an overly sensitive person?

.i discovered something new about him

yep, despite being together for over 7.5 years, we still have new things about each other to discover.

I just found out that SF and I share the EXACT SAME eye-degree!

All these years I've been bugging him about this and he's never told me.. well, because he wasn't really sure.

"So we can share a packet of contact lenses now." He said.

Well, it is the same, but total opposite. I'm -1.75 on the left, -2.00 on the right and his is the opposite of mine.

What are the odds of that! LOL.

."a" for "allergy"

...

no photo(s), i was going to edit one just so i could put it up here but i got lazy.

.....

anyway, i'm seriously wondering if i should continue staying here.. especially through the months of October - December, when my spring allergy acts up.

... it's not just runny nose/itchy throat-nose-ears/sneezing anymore...

i've developed this bad "pink" eye due to the allergy – i suspect it's pollens getting into my bi-weekly contact lenses. guess the only way to solve this is to stick to daily contacts, but it's more expensive. :\

so the sad alternative is to try and get used to glasses. people, if you see me in glasses outdoors, DO NOT make any comments, because i feel very, very self-conscious about wearing glasses anywhere other than home.

...

sigh, my eyes are so itchy, i think i should just sleep. i'll try to find a photo for this post..sometime..erm..later.

gah.

.lesson re-learned

the little dutch lady.

my friends and I organized a little day trip to Silvan for the annual Tesselaar Tulip Festival last weekend. it was a good trip – good weather, good food, good everything.

there were so many kids around and every single one of them were having a great time, laughing and running around. one of us said, "this is such a happy place!" – and it really felt like one.

before leaving the farm, we spotted a group of people taking photos of this cute little girl in Dutch traditional costume. her grandma and mom (?) were around and they were so nice about us taking photos of her!

-------

well, this photo reminded me of the fact of how little kids are easily satisfied with simple requests, such as a couple of helium-filled balloons.. as humans, the older we get, the more greedy we get, and hence, the more we demand.. and take what we already have for granted.

this little girl have, and always will remind me to appreciate what I already have...

and perhaps we adults should learn from the young ones sometime, just like how they are learning from us as they grow. :)

what are your thoughts?

.updates

tulip fest 2010.

dear flickr-ians, as well as friends who have been catching up on my photostreams,

once again, i'm so sorry for the lack of updates. i don't think i can make any promises as to catching up on everyone's photostreams and stuff anymore, so i'm just gonna say that i'll do my best to update/catch up whenever i can.

my life have changed a lot in the span of 7 months.. really.. sometimes i feel that i've gotten 5 years older in the last few months.. and i'm not saying that it's a bad thing – in fact, i think all these ups and downs that i've gone through have made me a little more sensible than before.

well, shit happens whenever you least expect it to, but i guess it happens for a reason.. everything takes place because of something, right?

anyways, i think i'll leave it here.. i have to get some errands done today. oh and here's another piece of good news – i've got heaps of photos to upload onto Flickr..including the ones taken at the Shanghai Expo in July. i try to get them up asap.. meanwhile... umm.. enjoy your weekend!

.hello! :)

I felt like cam-whoring the other night so here are one of the few hundred shots I've taken.
Umm.. I have told quite a number of people about this blog but I don't know how many of them actually read it on a regular basis...

So if you are the few percentage amount of people who reads my blog often, thank you!!! :)

And for those of you who don't really know me, umm.. hi, I'm _pdra. Sorry for the lousy pick up line... continuing on.. I'm currently half way through graduate school and I don't want it to end. Photography is something I do almost everyday, unless I have too much assignments to complete and ummmm... I hope I'll be given the opportunity to live in Melbourne for a long time!

Okay, that's all! :)

.the fake smile

late afternoon.

Time to rant!!!
...I hate pretending to be happy when I'm not.
I know I'm one of the luckiest people around... But I'm starting to get very, very tired.

I'm both mentally and physically exhausted.. I feel empty.. Sometimes I wish I could be in the studio working 24/7 so I wouldn't think too much.

I have assignments and homework due on a weekly basis.. And I barely have enough time to do stuff that I enjoy, like going out for some photo walks, discovering new places for photography purposes, etc.

I hate being stuck at home.. Well I have to be at home because I have too much work...

Suddenly, I feel like I have no friends around in Melbourne anymore... ._.

And I miss him.. a lot.. Even though we've been communicating online heaps

But no, I'm not giving up everything here.. I won't be leaving anytime soon. I just need someone to come by for a cup of tea and chat with (counsel) me.. And I need at least two days of sleep in.

Come visit me...

.mugging

my busy yet colorful life.

For an in-class exam tomorrow.
I don't want my Postgraduate Chapter to end so soon... But then again, I really can't wait to be able to see SF everyday again.. :)

.happy belated easter!

an easter surprise.

I was about to leave the house to get some last minute ingredients for dinner when I saw this on my doorknob - A chocolate egg and an Easter note from a nice (mysterious) neighbor.

Yup, it's really nice of him/her to share these with all 7 (excluding their own) units on this floor! I'm sure this gesture has made everyone's day a good one just as it did with mine. :)

Neighbors like this person are really rare these days... At least in my apartment building... And I really, really appreciate the gesture. Perhaps I should borrow this idea end of this year and hang some candy canes on everyone's doors. : 3

So umm, to the neighbor on this floor who gave every unit an easter egg - Happy Easter and thanks for the gift! I hope you're enjoying the holiday!

And to everyone who's reading this, Happy belated Easter to you too, and hope you've received some chocolate bunnies or eggs!

That reminds me, I should go stock up on those chocolates!

.lecture hall

HB.36

Guess what? I spent 2 bucks on a lomo camera application for my iPhone yesterday... And for those of you who know me well enough, I wouldn't normally spend all my money on applications – 95% of my apps are free. :P

The image above was taken in digital media authoring lecture yesterday. For some reason, not many students showed up that's why it looks pretty empty.

I won't want to skip any of the lectures, since this is actually my very last semester in a lecture hall, since multimedia students often spend their class hours doing studio work..

.some random update

Seafood night (bokeh).

I was wanting to get a new pair of jeans from Levi's. A sales girl smiled as I entered the store, and asked if I needed any help. "I'm just browsing, thanks. :)" was all I said. The sales girl decided to tag along behind like a puppy anyway, and that made me really, really uncomfortable. I left the store two minutes later, empty-handed.


What do y'all think?

.for savoring

mon chocolat favorit.

There was this buy-two-for-18-dollars Ferrero Rocher deal at Coles today and so I decided to buy it. I'm not sure if this is cheaper than usual, but I bought it anyway. The deal should still be around tomorrow so do drop by your nearest Coles supermarket if you're craving for some!

Let's hope I won't finish all 60 of these before Christmas. :P

.dear summer...

Docklands, Victoria.

Dear summer,

I hate you. I hate you for making me sweat like there's no tomorrow.. I hate you for making me moody for no reason - because when I am moody, I'd affect the people around me.. And I hate it when people around me are moody because of me.

I know you'll advise me to get some gelati on Lygon Street but NO, I don't friggin' want to walk outside in this kind of weather, I don't want to walk under YOU!!! Because I hate you!!!

And I also hate the fact that you are here to stay until mid-March next year. Now I have to worry about my camera's well-being, because those babies cannot tolerate heat as well as I can, even though I am struggling myself. Oh, and not forgetting my babies' babies, the lenses.

Gosh.. Summer, now I might have to starve myself for months or get my lens later because of you. I have to get one of those portable air-conditioners because of YOU. You would probably ask me to blame this on the landlord for not installing an air-conditioner for us.. Well I am too, but still, it's all BECAUSE OF YOU, Summer. If you didn't exist in the first place I wouldn't have to suffer like this.

You probably wouldn't be heart-broken anyways, since lots of people still love you for what you are. I might still love you too if you are 25 degrees Celsius and below.

Anyways, before I end this letter, summer, I just want to tell you once again, that I hate you. Nothing can describe my hatred against you.



With little regards,
_pdra

P.S. Oh, and THANKS A LOT for the hay fever. Spring was a lot more lenient with the hay fever so maybe you should learn from her.

.professional procrastinator

Oh.My.God.

My research paper is due in less than 48 hours time and I am still stuck on 1st draft. I think I'm the only postgraduate student who actually procrastinates?

助けて！！！

.3.5 months till we meet daily

Last day of the Semester (Monash University, Caulfield Campus).

Where did all the time go!!?!?!?!!? I was just starting to get the hang of first semester and am actually enjoying it!

Sigh.. 1st semester is over.. That means I have only got 3 more semesters to go.. I know it sounds really long but to me, it will be over in a blink.. And I don't want that to happen....yet!

I'll still be dropping by uni this Friday to turn in my assignments, but I reckon I'll only get to stay for less than an hour unless I decide to sit at uni to work on another assignment, which is due next Friday..

:(

Am I the only one who's actually not looking forward to the 3-month summer break???

I don't want to enroll myself in summer units too, because that means I'll get to graduate early.. Well.. I guess the reason why I don't want this to be over is because I have met some really great people over the past 3 months (you guys know who you are!)..

Gosh.. I enjoy being busy! It's so fulfilling.. And I think some of the assignments that I have done over the semester are actually portfolio-worthy, especially the final project in film class – everyone seem to like what we have done! Click here if you haven't already watched it!

Hmm.. All good things have to come to an end... :\

--

But anyways, I have already got stuff planned for the summer.. I'm hoping to complete an unfinished project before uni starts, and at the same time I am planning to create something... *fingers crossed* I don't plan to reveal anything right now but I will later on. ;)

Okay, back to assignments.

.the one about credit cards

Uh-oh.

I have just received my new debit credit card over the mail a couple of days ago.. And yes, life has gotten a little more convenient since!

But I fear for my near future.. Especially when it comes to online shopping.

Better make it a point to remind myself everyday that this credit card can only be used for air tickets back to Singapore and City Link payments.

._pdra on twitter

Okay, here's another post that's quite unrelated to photography.

Are you guys on Twitter? I think everyone's on Twitter these days yea? If not umm, you should go sign up for one, so that you can follow me! :P

I was one of the earliest people to own a Twitter account I think. I don't remember how I'd heard of this 140-letter update thingamagy. All I remember was that... It was during the summer break (sometime late-January 2007). I was bored.. And was surfing the internet that night, as usual.

And then I came across Twitter.. Once again, I was bored.. So I decided to sign up for fun. As of today, I have updated 2,419 times on Twitter since 2.8 years ago. :)

So, if you do want to follow me (and listen to my daily rants in 140 letters, click on the image below and Follow. :) I'll also announce new blog posts whenever I update.. So.. Do it now! Follow me!