the memorable night.I don't believe in suppressing my feelings, and I don't think I ever will. Chances are, if I were to bottle everything up I'd just end up exploding and hurt everyone.
So whoever (especially those who are very close to me) is reading this entry, I just want you to know that this blog acts as an outlet for me to vent my frustrations, sadness, or things that I shouldn't keep to myself. I'd rather unleash all my emotions in text rather than hurt you, and I am sure you'd make the same decision as me if you were in my position. Don't say I didn't warn you – feel free to close this window if you don't wish to read whatever I'm about to share.
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SF and I went star sighting the other night.. We thought we'd go about 100km out of Melbourne since the city is too bright. The fact that we saw the beautiful milky way the other night on our way to Sydney made us want to see it again. Heathcote was our destination but SF reckon it wasn't dark enough, and that we should have driven further up north if we had extra time.. But it was good.
I know things will change in the next couple of years... And [sad to say] I don't adapt to changes as easily as most people could.. Seeing the above image hurts because I don't know when we'll get to go star sighting again. It's not that I don't trust this relationship, it's just that I don't trust whatever that is coming up to us in the next couple of years.
Firstly, I don't like being unable to know how long we're going to be apart – he can't promise, and I don't want him to promise as well, knowing that there is a possibility that other external factors may change our lives. So I guess there is nothing I can do about this and I don't know how to deal with it.. I need help.
Next, I hate having to suppress my emotions and thoughts but this is something I have to do right now, for the well-being of everyone. I guess I'll just need to work harder on this and try to occupy myself with as many things as possible.
Last but not least, how often can we talk? We are both going to lead separate lives for a while and it is unreasonable for either parties to demand to go online 24/7. Will we eventually get tired of chatting on the webcam? What else can we do about this other than making an effort to visit as much as possible and interact online/on the phone?
--
And umm, I don't know if I actually feel better yet, after typing these out, but I hope I do after an 8-hour sleep.
P/S – I hope my dad recovers by the time he wakes up.. :( Being sick is definitely the worst feeling ever.
And as for commenting, I've decided not to allow because all I want is for a few people to listen [read] and understand what I am going through..
So whoever (especially those who are very close to me) is reading this entry, I just want you to know that this blog acts as an outlet for me to vent my frustrations, sadness, or things that I shouldn't keep to myself. I'd rather unleash all my emotions in text rather than hurt you, and I am sure you'd make the same decision as me if you were in my position. Don't say I didn't warn you – feel free to close this window if you don't wish to read whatever I'm about to share.
--
SF and I went star sighting the other night.. We thought we'd go about 100km out of Melbourne since the city is too bright. The fact that we saw the beautiful milky way the other night on our way to Sydney made us want to see it again. Heathcote was our destination but SF reckon it wasn't dark enough, and that we should have driven further up north if we had extra time.. But it was good.
I know things will change in the next couple of years... And [sad to say] I don't adapt to changes as easily as most people could.. Seeing the above image hurts because I don't know when we'll get to go star sighting again. It's not that I don't trust this relationship, it's just that I don't trust whatever that is coming up to us in the next couple of years.
Firstly, I don't like being unable to know how long we're going to be apart – he can't promise, and I don't want him to promise as well, knowing that there is a possibility that other external factors may change our lives. So I guess there is nothing I can do about this and I don't know how to deal with it.. I need help.
Next, I hate having to suppress my emotions and thoughts but this is something I have to do right now, for the well-being of everyone. I guess I'll just need to work harder on this and try to occupy myself with as many things as possible.
Last but not least, how often can we talk? We are both going to lead separate lives for a while and it is unreasonable for either parties to demand to go online 24/7. Will we eventually get tired of chatting on the webcam? What else can we do about this other than making an effort to visit as much as possible and interact online/on the phone?
--
And umm, I don't know if I actually feel better yet, after typing these out, but I hope I do after an 8-hour sleep.
P/S – I hope my dad recovers by the time he wakes up.. :( Being sick is definitely the worst feeling ever.
And as for commenting, I've decided not to allow because all I want is for a few people to listen [read] and understand what I am going through..
