.the letter "M"

symbol of love.

Over the past few months or so, I've encountered a bunch of relationship status change among my friends on Facebook.

Not one, not two, not three, not four, not five...okay, I've lost count... But LOADS OF PEOPLE on my list seem to have gotten a common bug - a bug that makes people don the engagement ring or get Married.. There, I've just said the "M" word.

Why??? I don't mean it in a bad way of course...

Is it -
A. My friends and I are at the engagement/marriage age,
B. My friends are engaged or marrying way too early,
C. I should be worried that I have not scored an engagement ring (well I am kinda, but not to the extend of stressing out..yet), or
D. Because I'm still in school, unlike most of my friends, who have been in the work industry for a while.

My personal answer is ...... B.

Seriously, some of them are mommies and daddies by now - and they are no more than 3 years older than me.. heck, some of them are actually younger than me.

What has this world come to??? Seriously, I think the perfect age to get married is 27. Okay, so those who ARE ACTUALLY 3 years older than me are doing the "M" thing at the right age.

I've got friends who actually talked about getting married by 18, and having kids by 20 when we were 14 years old... I was probably the only one among them who'd imagined myself to entering university at 18, which happened, and getting my Master's degree at 24 or 25,which is also happening. Heck, who knows, I might decide to go onto PhD at some point of my life.

--

..Sigh..

I still feel a tinge of jealousy whenever I see the engagement/married status in the newsfeed, although my current priorities are school- and career-related. I just can't help feeling a little upset I guess, even though I'm supposed to be happy for these people who are moving on to a new chapter of life. What's wrong with me? I know that We are not ready to go for the "M" chapter but I still feel like I want to be a part of the "M" thing..

Maybe it's normal to feel this way... But still, can someone give me a valid reason or two as to why I'm feeling like that?

--

Despite getting green-eyed about this issue, I still do get offended when people say stuff like "Why aren't you married yet?". I was catching up with a friend recently when he asked if I was having a baby. Here's how the conservation sort of went:

Friend: So when you having babies?
Me: Err, not anytime soon - considering the fact that I'm still in school and not even engaged?? I want to have a stable career first before getting mini-me's.
Friend: !! But but but.. You will want more even if you get to the stage of having stable career.
Me: Yeah true, but isn't it better to be financially-stable to support a family?

And somehow it lead to something about me not wanting to stay home.

Friend: But why!!? You should stay home and look after the kids!
- I got a little annoyed at this stage.
Me: But why? I'm doing postgrads, it would be a waste if I just decide to be a stay home mom, no?
Friend: (sort of ignoring my reasons) but it doesn't matter - you should stay home and look after the kids.
Me: (starting to get more annoyed, but controlled myself) Look, I wouldn't even plan on doing Master's degree if I wanted to be a stay home mom. If I do that in future, it would be like, tens of thousands of tuition fees down the drain.
Friend: It doesn't matter... I would want to stay home though!
Me: (tempted to say, "Then stay home, no one's stopping you." but managed to keep it to myself) There is no way I'm staying home for the kids. I've already come this far and I have lots of ambitions for the future.. There is no way I'm giving up.
Friend: (I could tell that he still wasn't convinced, but decided to stop it here), but.. well.. at least you know what you want.


Like, seriously, DO NOT SAY such stuff to postgrad chicks - chances are, we'll be really, really offended. I hate how there are still males who don't think of females as equal in the work society.

And I still think of the friend as a good mate.. We all don't have to agree with each other 100% of the time to get along! :)

Okay, I diverged. But I think what I've said sort of relates to the letter "M"...... I think.

-end.

.know your neighbours

Monash University Faculty of Art & Design
Course: Master of Multimedia Design
Unit: MMD5002 Multimedia Design Studio 2
Assignment: Viral Video (& distribution) Project

Know Your Neighbours is a campaign to raise awareness of your neighbours, as well as the people living around you.







Ep. 1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWEccvtd11M
Ep. 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPA_6iaSw5I
Ep. 3 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTTFzw56aEk

.3/4 done (well, nearly)

My 2nd home. Impressive huh!? ;)

End of week 12. Beginning of week 13. Where did all the time go!?!?!?!? It feels like I was just preparing for my first day of graduate school not long ago.

I'm depressed.. I am...

And I figured that part of the reason why I'm upset is because this week is my last week of lecture/tutorials.. By "last", I mean the "last" of my life. Next semester is project based and we all are expected to organize our own time... That means no class, and minimal interaction with my awesome classmates (some of whom are friends that I'm going to stick with for years to come).

I should be rushing on my never-ending amount of assignments right now.. But having no one to talk to over the weekend, I feel that the only way to unleash all these emotions that I've been bottling up inside me is to type it out...

--

After two semesters of ActionScript 3.0, I feel like I want to do something related to Flash developing in years to come.. The only problem is that I am still struggling. I understand what each set of function does but I don't know how to start writing a code. It's like, I know I could use switch for the main navigation bar of a flash website but I don't know how to implement it. I know I could use the UILoader data type for external images/videos/.swf but I don't know where to start.

And the fact that Apple has allow the conversion of AS3.0 into objective-C programming (iPhone app format) gives me even more reason to master AS3.0 - because I came from a games design background and I really want to do some of that in future.

Part of me really want to design one of those 10-second long, before-a-drama-series-commence type of screen for TV companies, but I feel that I'm more comfortable with Flash than AfterEffects or Final Cut.

So yes, Jeff (program coordinator of MMDes), I really would like to take up your advice in creating a game prototype with AS3.0 for my project in Studio 3 but don't think I'm up for it if we're not going to get any extra help. I know we are postgrad students and we are expected to be "independent" but how do you expect us to do so if our skills are not up to scratch for a fabulous, final project? I really want my project to be portfolio worthy, something I can show family/friends and potential employers with pride.

Perhaps going to one of those design schools in California was a better choice... For those of you who are finishing up high school and are interested in going to arts/design schools, you might wanna consider the States, especially since the current exchange rate made American education even more worth the money, and I'm sure their education quality is much more superior than that of Australia.

--

Okay, I'm outta here. Back to scripting.. I can do this!!!

.is this a sign?

I've been going through a stage of ups and downs recently.. well, mainly downs..

1. I feel so... vexed..

2. Why can't I start on the business plan, get it over with and start planning for the summer break?

3. My agent has just reminded me of reasons that make me hate renting.


1. Vexed-ness.

I don't know why.. I've been really unhappy recently, and I can't rule out problem.. And um no, it's not PMS.. not yet at least. I feel like I can't smile genuinely anymore.. Is it because I live alone? Or am I just stressed out over assignments?


2. Why, why, why why why why why why why... Am I always procrastinating? Beginning of the semester, I told myself that I'm not going to procrastinate anymore, and that I'm going to finish my work way before it's due... For the past... 8 semester, I've told myself the same thing over and over again.. but.. I still ... fail...

Procrastinate Monster VS _pdra - 1 - 0.


3. ...Just when I thought I was lucky to have nice, understanding agents..... Well, the agent gave me a week notice (standard rule) that they were coming up to inspect. No problem - all I need to do is mop, vacuum and tidy up the apartment a little. I thought I did a pretty good job with that though, considering that I've never had so much walking space before this... My friends visited promptly and were amazed at how clean and tidy my place is.

So the agent e-mailed me today telling me that it's "not clean and tidy, but in acceptable condition and hopes to see better results in the next inspection, which takes place in 6 months.)

Like, wtf!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I spent the whole hour (or more) mopping/tidying/vacuuming! So I did all that for nothing?

And wait, that's not it.

They whinged about my dryer, which is currently placed right beside the TV (simply because there is no better place for the dryer).. and made the decision for me that I should pay for the installment of a dryer shelf in the laundry cabinet. What..the..fuck!?!?!?!? As a tenant, I don't feel obliged to pay for something that will benefit future tenants. I know I won't be renting here forever - well nobody in this building is going to stay here forever, unless they own the apartment and are going to remain single for the rest of their lives, that's for sure.

I'm sure you guys would agree with me that I'm not supposed to pay for maintenance work/upgrades in this apartment unit unless I damage something. But in this case, I didn't. And FYI, the dryer has been sitting there in the same spot (even in my previous apartment upstairs) since we moved in.. And why did they start complaining about it all of a sudden?

FML. I hate renting. Everyone should start by getting a studio and paying the bank monthly installments - at least you are paying for your own house and not giving the money to someone else.. And the studio will make a good investment in future when you need a bigger space.

Gah!!!


P/S I think I've got another 14 months in this apartment.. Part of me kinda wants to sell everything and find a decent room (with personal toilet) in a share house somewhere.. But nah, maybe not. And sorry for the lack of photograph, I just needed to unleash my emotions a bit...

.self-promote